I always grudge at the thought of doing so much but when you’re there, you get less than what you expected. You’d look forward to something difficult but you’d only be given things much easier to do. I think of the hours wasted that could have been used for some snooze. At times, I find myself have having difficulty with such because I dread of not accomplishing such a thing that could’ve been easy. At some point, I find myself contemplating if it’s really time wasted because you absorbed something new. At the end of the day, what would matter most is how you’d use it. And if you use it, will it bring you to places? Will it bring you to places when you think you have to stay where you are? But if you have to stay where you are, will it do you good and make a difference?

Whatever input I make, I really try hard to remember how I did it and digest it. I try to make it a part of me and for whatever good grace would bestow upon me, I’d like to give myself reasons to make me believe in myself. Self-esteem is something I try so hard to attain and I don’t think I could grasp if it’s just me alone. I constantly need a push from everyone else. I constantly need to feel that I can do it. I have to try every time or else I’d give myself a slap in the face for not doing otherwise not knowing it was easy as pie.

Forgive me for bragging but I only get this once in a blue moon.